Fight The Good Fight

TODAY'S MOTIVATION

I'm not gonna lie, yesterday I was starting to lose a bit of my motivation, but I kept on truckin along anyway. You see that's the thing. No matter what happens, I will continue to fight the good fight. If it takes my whole life, I will never stop trying, no matter how many times I fail, because I am not gonna give up on myself. I would rather spend my whole life fighting than just give up. Even if I never get there, I will keep fighting.

So today, I will remind myself that I am in this till the end! No matter what happens, all I can do is keep trying. I will do this my whole life if I have to! What other choice do I have?

RANT OR RAVE

A few complaints:

I am getting frustrated with the fact that the rate of my weight loss has been slow, despite efforts to follow an accredited weight loss strategy. I know part of it is because I am nursing and I am supposed to keep up enough calories to maintain my milk supply, but still, it is frustrating. I also know that many people who attempt weight loss go through this, and I also know that losing a bit at a time is better than doing a fad diet. Nonetheless it is frustrating. Just sayin.

As mentioned above, I have been trying to eat enough to maintain my milk supply but my milk supply was going down anyway.  A few people suggested taking fenugreek, and I was hesitant because I heard that it was used in Indian food and I don't do spicy. Then I found out you can get it in pill form so I started taking it. It immediately helped with increasing my milk supply and the stress of feeding my child was gone. All was good until it gave me and my itty bitty an allergic reaction. How horrible did I feel!  So no more fenugreek for me. Now it's back to square one. Time to talk to my doc. Good thing Maya is starting solids.

I looked at a picture that someone took of me today and it reminded me of how crappy I still look and that was discouraging since I have changed on the inside but still look brutal on the outside. I'm not saying this in a feel sorry for me, low self esteem kind of way.  I am just stating a fact, an observation if you will.  I do feel better overall since changing my eating habits, but it is frustrating when you know you still have a ways to go.

NOTE TO SELF

Squeeze Me In!

TODAY'S MOTIVATION

So yesterday I was at the grocery store and some guy parked his car too close to mine and I had to squeeze into my car without hitting his car with my door. You know the manoeuvre - turn sideways, open the door slowly, throw your purse in, then squeeze on through. I was able to pull off this move with little difficulty, but I remember how hard this was to achieve when I was pregnant (amongst other things). Then it got me thinking of how nice it is to be able to fit into spaces again now that I don't have my big baby belly. 

The thing is though, there are still times when I do have to say "excuse me" to fit behind someone's chair at the dinner table, or to get through a line at the store, etc. I look forward to the day when I have a tiny caboose that can fit through tiny spots and I look forward to the day when my waist is so small I don't feel I am getting in people's way. Your whole spatial perception changes when your body changes. I look forward to that so this will keep me going today!

RANT OR RAVE

I came across this the other day and thought this was pretty cool. Since breastfeeding is health related I would like to give two thumbs up to this. 

Apparently these have been circulating online on various blogs and what not. I think they are great! I personally have no issues breast feeding in front of others, but I will say at first there were times when I was a little shy about it. Although I am completely comfortable in feeding my baby anywhere, I often worry about whether I am making others feel uncomfortable. Another thing. Although I love my nursing cover, it's pretty nifty with pockets and everything, I sometimes almost resent having to wear it. It's weird because I only use one around certain people and then others I could care less. It's not like I just whip out my boob for all to see. I'm discreet, and by the time baby is latched on it's not like they can see anything anyway. I find I am much more likely to use a cover around men. But really, I think that people who are uncomfortable with breastfeeding (cover or no cover) should just get over it, it's no different than a baby drinking a bottle - it just comes from a different source. Anyhow, that' s just my two cents. I also find that when you are around a group of Moms at a social gathering they often watch each other to see how the other is going to handle breastfeeding. It only takes one person to feed in public for the rest to follow suit. So I like these, they're cool. I may even hand some out. 

NOTE TO SELF

Bathing Suit Season, Eeeeek!

TODAY'S MOTIVATION

It's bathing suit season. Here's a picture of me trying to cover up as much as possible. 

Enough said.

RANT OR RAVE

Working out today is going to be a bloody gong show. I just don't have the energy and here's why:

1) My little one has decided not to let me sleep at all last night (and for most of this week as a matter of fact).

2) I'm feeling deflated by the fact that my milk production has gone way down. The diet that I am currently following has made suggestions for nursing mothers to follow to make sure that doesn't happen. It also cautions that nursing mothers should not lose more than 1lb a week. The thing is, I am trying to follow these guidelines by eating more vegetables, milk, and so forth but it is hard! So in the mean time, I have been supplementing a bit with formula, which I hate doing. I am feeling so conflicted between trying to lose weight and being able to nurture my child. Momma guilt sucks. And I'm sure some of this is connected to the lack of sleep in my house this week. 

3) My dog just came tapping on the back door soaking wet in skunk spray!  

Uggggggh!

I just want to go to bed!

NOTE TO SELF