Still Thinking About Those Dresses

TODAY'S MOTIVATION

Well, I tried on the wedding dress that I wanted to fit into by my 30th birthday, and it doesn't quite fit. Same with the red one. I'm getting so close! I've lost 30 lbs since my pre-pregnancy weight so far. It's gonna fit soon. Today that's what I'm thinkin' about. 

RANT OR RAVE

Alright, I know this doesn't really have anything to do with health and what not, except the fact that it has to do with getting out of the house with the girls - but I thought I would do a review anyway. Last night I went to see the most recent Twilight movie. Yes I know. My friend is, dare I say, obsessed with this series and has seen every movie at least three times. Yes she's thirty years old. Put it this way, she took time off work to go see the last one. When the books came out she went on and on about how good they were, so she sent them my way and I read them. Not bad for a fantasy series. I am a person that analyzes everything and when I read such books I often find myself saying, "Like that would really ever happen!",  or, "Come on, it's not realistic to think that a vampire would be able to just be around a human without killing her!". But with these books, by the end, I allowed myself to just use my imagination and go with the story. 

When the first movie came out my friend said I had to see it. I rented it one night and was very disappionted. I thought it was terrible acting and just not put together well. I just wasn't into this whole twilight buzz.  To be honest, I thought it was hilarious watching adult women going ga ga over the same movies as a bunch of adolescent girls! After this movie came out me and my other friend decided to indulge our twilight friend and see "Breaking Dawn". I'd have to say, it wasn't a terrible movie. I thought they put the love story together well, and the portrayal of how Bella must have been feeling in this movie was good. But the warewolves. I mean, come on! The whole this-is-my territory-you-played-me-i'm-on-their-side-whatever stuff was just hilarious!  Most of the scenes were so beepin cheesy!  Just one girls' opinion! And I just wanted to slap that geeky smile off of Edward's face in most of the scenes! But other than that it was ok, I still give it a thumbs up because the author did a good job of putting together the story and the movie pretty much stuck to the book. 

RANDOMS

Yesterday was a busy day shopping at the mall. You see, every year my siblings and I try to figure out what to do for presents. Draw names? Play a game with prizes? Secret Santa? Do home made gifts?  We always try to do something different to spice it up, but this year we decided to try something else. Now that we have little ones of our own, the meaning of Christmas has changed on the Gifts front. It just doesn't seem important to get presents anymore - it's more about the kids, you know? So this year, the solution was obvious - we decided to sponsor some children in our community and buy them gifts with the money we would normally spend on ourselves. This is not a new concept - where we live there are tons of families who worry about how they are going to provide Christmas to their kids and there are tons of families who are happy to help them out.  We do not expect a metal or a pat on the back for doing this deed - it's really not a big deal - we just want to help some other kid get his / her wish on Christmas. So we went on our shopping spree for two kids and got most of what they had on their wish list. We only have a few more things to find. I took a picture of what we have so far so that my sister who lives in Nova Scotia can see what we got with the funds. 

When I was growing up, my Mom's extended family always did things like this at Christmas. As grown ups they still do. This year they are getting everyone to donate old winter jackets to a coat drive. Last year everyone brought gift certificates to give to a local women's shelter. But still, it was nice for my siblings and I to head this one up ourselves this year, and actually be the ones spending the money and doing the shopping. It was quite fun, despite some of us getting separated at the mall and not being able to find each other (and not to mention trying to shop with a baby and toddler!).  I'm looking forward to dropping off the stuff to our local organization. The place I work often has direct contact with many of the families who receive these gifts, so I can tell you first hand that many of them really do appreciate it. I remember one Mom who was crying when she told me that she couldn't sleep because she didn't know how she was going to explain to her daughter that Santa couldn't come that year. Sure, there are some people who think they are entitled to hand outs, but believe me, the majority I've talked to are very grateful.  So hey, if you are looking for something to do for others this year, sponsor a child!

Ok totally off topic but omigod my precious baby girl is just changing so much these days. Ok the other day she did the cutest thing - she learned how to wave "hello".  She even said "Hi!". It was awesome. And apparently, according to my mother when she was baby sitting, Maya waved at my Aunt and said "bye bye" in the clearest voice. I wish I was there to see it as it would have been her first word she actually understood. She is eating all kinds of foods now, completely rejecting purees and just going for regular finger foods and eating them so fast. She is moving around all over the place (still not crawling but pulling herself up, standing, and wiggling around everywhere!). She laughs at everything I say and do. She is so much fun to be around! And so much more work! Ok I am done my "oh-my-goodness-my child-is-the-cutest-and-smartest-kid-ever" speech.  Watching a child grow is simply amazing. 

Memories

TODAY'S MOTIVATION

In the new year, we've got a few family trips planned with Maya. When we look back at pictures of us as a family, creating memories for our child, I don't want to be thinking "Jeez, I wish I looked / felt better then".  I don't want things like that spoiling my memories.  Instead, I just want to be thinking about the good times.

RANT OR RAVE

The other day I talked about buying this book. Well, I am done reading it. I read every night before bed. Even though I should be trying to get to sleep as early as possible (to prepare for Maya waking up 2-3 times a night), I can't help but cuddle up and have some "me" time. 

The basic message in this book is to eat a diet of non-processed foods with little or no meat, eating mostly plants. It also stresses the need to reconnect with the pleasure of food, eating socially, and thinking outside of the traditional beliefs we have about food. He also explains how processed foods came to be, which is interesting, and cautions that foods fortified with vitamins are not as good as whole foods. 

Anyhow, this book has really left me feeling much more confident about eating and much more overwhelmed about eating at the same time. There are a lot of things in the book that I agree with whole heartedly. There are some things that I still wonder about. Some of it validates the beliefs I already have about food, some of it makes it more complicated. Mostly more complicated because if I were to embrace the concept of this book a hundred percent, I would have to make some changes which I feel is very difficult to do when you are competing with how our culture has changed regarding food. 

You see, it talks about getting back to basics, cutting out processed food, enjoying eating again, having more sensible portions (not the usual portions of the Western diet), getting back to having a relationship with the makers of your food, knowing where it comes from, etc. These are not new concepts but the thing is, when you go to a kids' birthday party and they are serving macaroni and cheese or you go to a friend's house who is serving white rice and ready made appetizers, how do you politely decline what they are serving? Do you bring your own food and look like a snooty "I'm too good for your food" kind of guest? Do you eat before you go and just not have anything at the party and in turn be the only one at the table watching everyone else eat? I tell myself that eating what someone serves you once in a while is not going to hurt you but when you are invited to things more than once a week how do you cope? When I was reading this book I had a new appreciation for someone who is, say, a vegetarian or a vegan. 

This book was not suggesting that you follow a strict eating guideline, but in a way it did. The good thing is it did make eating seem a lot simpler. It gave the dieter a green light to stop dieting and just eat healthy. It gave good reasons why you should spend more money on your food (which helped me make peace with yesterdays' rant). It helped you understand that you don't need to eat food fortified with vitamins and nutrients if you just eat the good foods themselves. The biggest message I took from this book is that you have to look at food as a whole, as a culture, and we need to stop processing everything and promoting all of this factory farming that goes on. Overall I agree with the general premise of this book, but like anything, I feel you need to take some of it with a grain of salt and remember that the author is trying to make traditional "nutritionism" look very evil in order to get the reader to see his point of view.  So it would be interesting to see a more balanced argument about such issues, but nonetheless, he makes some very good points. 

See for yourself and give it a read. 

RANDOMS

A while back I talked about taking on some hobbies to keep myself busy like sewing. I think I'm gonna make some home made Christmas stockings to spice things up this year. I'll let you know how it turns out. 

Both of these are going to inspire my project:

www.polkadotchristmas.com

www.breakfastfordinnerblog.blogspot.com

Self

TODAY'S MOTIVATION

I'm a hypocrite. To some degree we all are. Let me explain.

I have these beliefs about life, about how things should be, about how we should behave and how we should live. I usually feel pretty strongly in what I believe, especially when I just know that it's the right thing, but I just can't seem to live by some of these beliefs.

You see, I believe that people should love themselves for who they are. I believe that most people are harder on themselves than they should be and if they only saw themselves as other see them, they wouldn't be so quick to criticize themselves. I often say to  people, "If that was your best friend saying that about themselves, what would you say?".  The thing is, I don't practice what I preach, because I am critical of myself all the time. Where do I get this from? Well I think society is a pretty good influence, but I also think it is just a habit that I have picked up that I need to be more aware of. I also think that I have let others be critical of me and in turn by allowing this I have disrespected myself.

I also believe that if people want to be truly happy with themselves and how they look (and feel better), they need to quit obsessing over the latest diet and just start getting healthy. Avoid process foods, stay active, indulge once in a while, eat in moderation, take time to make wholesome meals, plan ahead, grocery shop frequently. The thing is, this sounds good in theory, but it seems that everywhere around us there are messages to the contrary - and I am influenced by this just as much as everyone else. I say I want to feel better, be healthy, live a long happy life, be there for my daughter (and I do!), but I also want to look skinny, wear nice clothes, look attractive for my husband, etc. As much as it's not about the number on the scale, I still have an number in my head and if I don't reach it I will likely feel like a failure. Why do I do this? I dunno. Our society constantly focuses on how women look, and we all want to meet that standard, and I'm not sure that will ever change. I don't know one woman who doesn't wish that she looked different in some way.

I am following a lot of healthy "rules" when it comes to eating, exercising, etc. But when it really comes down to it, I am still on a diet. I say that because I am still writing down everything I eat, I am restricting certain things that I cannot eat, I measure some of my food, I am eating less calories than if I were not trying to lose weight, and I am feeling like a failure if I don't follow it religiously.  I feel like I am in a conundrum because I am overweight and therefore feel I need to diet first, then work on just eating healthy. One day I convince myself that if I just toughen up and restrict more of my eating, I will see results faster. Another day I tell myself that this is a lifestyle change and therefore I need to not restrict myself so much. And in the end the scale usually wins and this is what ultimately dictates my behaviour and my opinion of myself.

I'm not sure how to change that, or if I ever will.

I also worry about how my thoughts may affect Maya, because I am constantly saying that I want her to grow up with a positive sense of self, yet I still struggle with this at my age. Sure, I am a lot wiser than I once was (getting older does that to you) - I know that I need to appreciate who I am and what I have now - but I am not completely a hundred percent happy with who I am.

That is why I do things such as place post-it notes all over telling people they are beautiful because even though I cannot always follow my own advice, I would like to still encourage these beliefs and maybe in turn I will slowly change myself. I will always have some extrinsic and shallow reasons for losing weight, but maybe just for today, I will let myself off the hook and just be happy with who I am.

Speaking of operation beautiful, Maya and I did some errands yesterday and took our post-it notes with us.

Here is a picture of us getting ready to leave. I tried to take a picture in the mirror to go with the sticky-note-mirror theme, but didn't realize my mirror has hand prints all over it:

And Maya double checking the sticky notes.

We had to run some errands at the mall and so we stuck some notes in various places including some change rooms at women's clothing stores, the public bathroom, a coffee shop bathroom, and the book store. We took a few pictures with my camera phone but some didn't turn out very well.

Maya was at her limit and all "shopped out" so we went home with some notes still in my purse.

I put a few in the bathroom at kickboxing this morning:

RANT OR RAVE

While we are on the subject of beliefs, my brother-in-law explained this book a few years back and even though I haven't read it, the premise changed my way of thinking about food. I picked it up from the book store yesterday. I'll give a review when I'm done reading. 

RANDOMS

When I was a kid, I remember watching this one scene on sesame street where the puppet pulls a "Weird Al" and sings about cereal to Madonna's song, "Material Girl". 

For some reason I remembered this when I was feeding Maya cereal one day and started singing my own version of it. Now every time I feed her breakfast I sing it and it always makes her have huge smiles. It's hilarious. 

Maya is going to have so much evidence of why I am an embarrassing mother when she gets older.