Blah

TODAY'S MOTIVATION

So today and yesterday I was feeling really "blah" during the day. You ever just have days where you feel, well, "fat"? I was having those days. I didn't have as much energy, I was having low moods, I was feeling like I was not being productive at all, and I was craving all kinds of junk food.

I was trying to figure out what caused such a switch for me and I immediately realized that I had two days this week where I ate a lot  more processed foods than usual like bread and cheese and chocolate. On Monday we went out for dinner  and then on Wednesday we ordered pizza (both for my husband's birthday). Both times I did not allow myself to feel guilty for eating unhealthy because I know that it's ok to indulge once in a while and that it's ok once in a while to celebrate a special occasion. Anyhow, as much as I enjoyed the treats, it really helped me see first hand just how much of an impact certain foods have on me. For example, when I ate garlic bread, I was up four times that night to drink water because I was so dehydrated from all the salt. The cheese and white bread I ate caused huge gas pains.  On top of it, I wasn't getting much protein or vegetables and this made me sluggish and made me want to eat more crap. Working out definitely helped a bit, but I just didn't have as much energy to push myself like I could have.  I am not saying all of this to complain - I just wanted to give a background to what is going to motivate me today. You see, the only thing I can think of to get out of this is to keep getting active, keep eating healthy, and take care of myself. What other choice do I have?  It's the only way to get rid of this "blah" feeling. So today I am motivated to start feeling good again. 

The other thing is I have been struggling with the numbers on my scale. I have been sitting at the same spot for the past three weeks. I keep going down two pounds, then up two pounds, then down two, then up two. I can't seem to get past that spot. I know it's not always about numbers but it is hard to feel like you are making progress when the scale doesn't show any change.

The bigger issue is the fact that I am so conflicted about whether I should be trying to follow a strict diet (and thus lose weight faster) or just keep trying to eat healthy in general (thus taking a lot longer to lose).  There is so much evidence that points to the ineffectiveness of diets (in the long term) but I can't help but want to lose weight more quickly. But I will comment more on that later. Anyhow, that's my two cents for today. I am going to keep moving forward like I always do. As I said, the only cure is to keep eating healthy, so that is what I am going to do today.

RANT OR RAVE

If you have not already seen this video, watch it. Interesting. Just another example of the problem we have. 

RANDOMS

So Maya and I didn't get out and execute operation beautiful yesterday. It just didn't work out. Today we  plan to make it happen. Here's the post it's we made. Will keep ya posted (no pun intended). 

Since I always seem to be obsessed with taking pictures of creatures in my yard, would you like to see a picture of a toad I took a long time ago?

I know, only weird people post such pictures on their blog. I have no life.  Carry on. 

I Deserve It

TODAY'S MOTIVATION

Today's motivation to stay healthy is simply because I deserve it.  Once in a while I just have to remember that I am worthy of being healthy and happy. That's all. 

RANT OR RAVE

You know what I hate? Debbie Downers. You know, those people who always have something negative to say. The people who are always predicting failure or focusing on the problem. These people like to be the victim.  They spend all their time worrying about what others are doing to them. They have a learned helplessness that always gets in the way of being able to take control of their own lives.  They are not happy for other people and often times they try to make others around them miserable.  They only see the problem, not the solution.  Often times they think in terms of black and white, and forget that there is often a grey area. They give off a sense to everyone that they are powerless. 

I bring this up not to complain about anyone in particular, but more because I want to make a point that a lot of what happens to us in our lives is dependent on how we perceive things.  I am not a generally negative person, but I would have to say that I have definitely been guilty of having negative thoughts about myself in a way that has held me back in the past. That is why every day I write down a negative thought that I have and then change it to a more realistic, productive thought. It's like having a conversation with myself, and externalizing it, so that I can finally start to get rid of whatever distortions I have about myself and establish a better sense of self. 

The first step is to identify what thoughts we have that are not realistic by testing out the evidence of whether or not they are true.  For example, are you really a failure just because you did bad on one test?  Are you really worthless because you don't look like the women on the billboards? 

We all do it - we sometimes get stuck in unrealistic ways of thinking.  Some of them are patterns we have developed from a young age, others are a result of societal messages. I for one am going to continue to challenge these thoughts the best I can so that I can live a productive life.  And you know what? I have to say that the more I do this, the less self defeating thoughts I get. 

NOTE TO SELF