Memories

TODAY'S MOTIVATION

In the new year, we've got a few family trips planned with Maya. When we look back at pictures of us as a family, creating memories for our child, I don't want to be thinking "Jeez, I wish I looked / felt better then".  I don't want things like that spoiling my memories.  Instead, I just want to be thinking about the good times.

RANT OR RAVE

The other day I talked about buying this book. Well, I am done reading it. I read every night before bed. Even though I should be trying to get to sleep as early as possible (to prepare for Maya waking up 2-3 times a night), I can't help but cuddle up and have some "me" time. 

The basic message in this book is to eat a diet of non-processed foods with little or no meat, eating mostly plants. It also stresses the need to reconnect with the pleasure of food, eating socially, and thinking outside of the traditional beliefs we have about food. He also explains how processed foods came to be, which is interesting, and cautions that foods fortified with vitamins are not as good as whole foods. 

Anyhow, this book has really left me feeling much more confident about eating and much more overwhelmed about eating at the same time. There are a lot of things in the book that I agree with whole heartedly. There are some things that I still wonder about. Some of it validates the beliefs I already have about food, some of it makes it more complicated. Mostly more complicated because if I were to embrace the concept of this book a hundred percent, I would have to make some changes which I feel is very difficult to do when you are competing with how our culture has changed regarding food. 

You see, it talks about getting back to basics, cutting out processed food, enjoying eating again, having more sensible portions (not the usual portions of the Western diet), getting back to having a relationship with the makers of your food, knowing where it comes from, etc. These are not new concepts but the thing is, when you go to a kids' birthday party and they are serving macaroni and cheese or you go to a friend's house who is serving white rice and ready made appetizers, how do you politely decline what they are serving? Do you bring your own food and look like a snooty "I'm too good for your food" kind of guest? Do you eat before you go and just not have anything at the party and in turn be the only one at the table watching everyone else eat? I tell myself that eating what someone serves you once in a while is not going to hurt you but when you are invited to things more than once a week how do you cope? When I was reading this book I had a new appreciation for someone who is, say, a vegetarian or a vegan. 

This book was not suggesting that you follow a strict eating guideline, but in a way it did. The good thing is it did make eating seem a lot simpler. It gave the dieter a green light to stop dieting and just eat healthy. It gave good reasons why you should spend more money on your food (which helped me make peace with yesterdays' rant). It helped you understand that you don't need to eat food fortified with vitamins and nutrients if you just eat the good foods themselves. The biggest message I took from this book is that you have to look at food as a whole, as a culture, and we need to stop processing everything and promoting all of this factory farming that goes on. Overall I agree with the general premise of this book, but like anything, I feel you need to take some of it with a grain of salt and remember that the author is trying to make traditional "nutritionism" look very evil in order to get the reader to see his point of view.  So it would be interesting to see a more balanced argument about such issues, but nonetheless, he makes some very good points. 

See for yourself and give it a read. 

RANDOMS

A while back I talked about taking on some hobbies to keep myself busy like sewing. I think I'm gonna make some home made Christmas stockings to spice things up this year. I'll let you know how it turns out. 

Both of these are going to inspire my project:

www.polkadotchristmas.com

www.breakfastfordinnerblog.blogspot.com

Strength

TODAY'S MOTIVATION

Although I still have much more to accomplish, I am physically getting stronger. Because I am carrying around a little less weight I am feeling a bit like my old self again. That in itself keeps me going today.

RANT OR RAVE

Seriously, this is something that has always bothered me and has been something that is not a new issue, just like my beef with oversized portions. The issue is the cost of wholesome "real" food versus processed junk food. How is anyone expected on a limited budget to eat healthy when you have to pay, for example, six dollars for pears or eight dollars for grapes? It's no wonder that someone such as a single Mom with three kids would be buying macaroni, frozen pizzas, and Burger King.  I know there is such a bigger and more complex reason why this is the way it is but I still don't like it. I have always forked out the money for decent food time and time again but resent having to nonetheless.

Image source: http://wagnerfpa.wordpress.com

There are times when I have seriously considered starting a garden, and if I didn't have a full time job and busy schedule during the summer I probably would. Maybe next year. Our society is in such a bad funk when it comes to our priorities with what we eat. Sure it's all about supply and demand but we really are being held hostage in a way.  There are many families that cannot speak with their pocket book and the food manufacturers know this and take advantage of it. Then we have generations of kids that grow up relying on such food and becoming addicted to it. Just my opinion.  What do you think?

RANDOMS

Someone from my online birth club posted this on facebook a little while ago and it made me laugh. I was thinking, "Wait a minute! Did Maya write this?"

Awake Training for Parents:

Dear Fellow Babies,

OK, here’s my situation. My Mommy has had me for almost 5 months. The first few months were great – I cried, she picked me up and fed me, anytime, around the clock. Then something happened. Over the last few weeks, she has been trying to STTN (sleep thru the night). At first, I thought it was just a phase, but it is only getting worse.

I’ve talked to other babies, and it seems like its pretty common after Mommies have had us for around 5-6 months. Here’s the thing: these Mommies don’t really need to sleep. It’s just a habit. Many of them have had some 30 years to sleep – they just don’t need it anymore. So I am implementing a plan. I call it the Crybaby Shuffle.

It goes like this:

Night 1 – cry every 3 hours until you get fed. I know, it’s hard. It’s hard to see your Mommy upset over your crying. Just keep reminding yourself, it’s for her own good.

Night 2 – cry every 2 hours until you get fed.

Night 3 – every hour.

If you have an especially alert Mommy, you can stop crying for about 10 minutes, just long enough for her to go back to bed and start to fall asleep. Then cry again. It WILL eventually work. My Mommy once stayed awake for 10 hours straight, so I know she can do it.

Most Mommies will start to respond more quickly after about 3 nights. Some Mommies are more alert, and may resist the change longer. These Mommies may stand in your doorway for hours, shhhh-ing. Don’t give in. I cannot stress this enough: CONSISTENCY IS KEY!! If you let her STTN (sleep through the night), just once, she will expect it every night. I know it’s hard! But she really does not need the sleep; she is just resisting the change.

The other night, I cried every hour. You just have to decide to stick to it and just go for it. BE CONSISTENT! I cried for any reason I could come up with:
-My sleep sack tickled my foot.
-I felt a wrinkle under the sheet.
-My mobile made a shadow on the wall.
-I burped, and it tasted like rice cereal. I hadn’t eaten rice cereal since breakfast, what’s up with that?
-The dog said “ruff”. I should know. My Mommy reminds me of this about 20 times a day. LOL.
-Once I cried just because I liked how it sounded when it echoed on the monitor in the other room.
-Too hot, too cold, just right – doesn’t matter! Keep crying!!
-I had drooled so much my sheets were damp and I didn’t like it touching me.
-I decided I was sick of all the pink in my room so I cried.

It took awhile, but it worked. She fed me at 4am. Tomorrow night, my goal is 3:30am. You need to slowly shorten the interval between feedings in order to reset your Mommies’ internal clocks.

Sometimes my Mommy will call for reinforcements by sending in Daddy. Don’t worry Daddies are not set up for not needing sleep the way Mommies are. They can only handle a few pats and shhing before they declare defeat and send in the Mommy.

Also, be wary of the sleep sheep with rain noises. I like to give Mommy false hope that listening to the rain puts me to sleep sometimes I pretend to close my eyes and be asleep and then wait until I know Mommy is settling back to sleep to spring a surprise cry attack. If she doesn’t get to me fast enough I follow up with my fake cough and gag noise that always has her running to the crib. At some point I am positive she will start to realize that she really doesn’t really need sleep.

P.S. Don’t let those rubber things fool you, no matter how long you suck on them, no milk will come out.
Trust me.
Sincerely,
Baby J

By The Time...

TODAY'S MOTIVATION

By the time Christmas is here, I could be more than half way towards my weight loss goals. By the time I go back to work I could be fitting into sizes that I didn't even fit into when I started my job. By the time summer hits, I could be looking back at this and being glad that I am not spending another summer hating the way I look. Many people sit and wish that things could be different in their lives, that they want to do certain things "some day",  but they could have achieved their goals ten times over already if they had just stopped complaining and put it into action.

I don't want another ten years of my life to pass by before I realize that I could have had what I wanted a long time ago. It's kind of like people who regret not doing something in their youth like finishing college or taking that trip to Europe.  You don't get that time back and if you would have just done the work the first time you wouldn't be wishing, you wouldn't be having regrets - you would be happy with your life. This is something that I will try to focus on today.

RANT OR RAVE

Have you heard about the concept of a "fat tax" being implemented in Denmark?

Wonder what that would be like if it were to happen in Canada?

There are tons of articles debating the topic here, here, and here.

Not sure what I think about this concept, but I am skeptical that it would actually be effective in reducing obesity.  Seriously, did it work when they increased the price of cigarettes? I also wonder if they would even be taxing the right foods? They would have to do a lot more research before they could determine which foods are considered unhealthy. Fat is just one thing to consider, what about sugar content, processed foods, etc? Sounds like a retail nightmare to me.

NOTE TO SELF 

You Is Important

TODAY'S MOTIVATION

Last night our plans fell through to go out with friends and since we already booked the grandparents to baby sit we got to go on another date night!  I talked Chris into going to see The Help, even though he was convinced it was going to be a girly movie. I read the book and wanted to see it. I have to admit, when we walked in the theatre, Chris was the only guy there under the age of 65, but still, he said it wasn't as bad as he thought (I think he secretly enjoyed it).  

For those of you who have not seen the movie, it is basically set in the civil rights era, where a southern woman writes an anonymous book about what it's like for black maids to work for white families. They all tell their stories and it talks about how a lot of the maids basically raise their employer's children, only for the children to grow up and turn out just like their snooty white mothers.  Anyhow, there is this scene where one of the maids is trying to instil a sense of self worth in the little girl she cares for, because the little girl's mother isn't very good to her. 

Later on in the movie she has to say goodbye to the little girl and she makes her repeat all the things she taught her. It almost made me cry because I felt so bad that the little girl would have to grow up with a Mom that was ruining her self esteem.  She looked so young and vulnerable. It would break my heart if Maya grew up not thinking she was important and worthy and loved. It really got me thinking just how much influence we have in shaping these little beings. Like I have said before, I think it's important to instil a sense of self worth in your children from day one.  

I think the first step in doing that is being able to become a confident role model for my baby girl. It seems that all girls have some self esteem issues at some point in their lives. Being older and wiser now I can't believe that I didn't realize my own potential when I was younger, but such is life. All I can do is start being good to myself now. That is what keeps me going today.

On a side note, my hubby sent us flowers for no reason the other day. Isn't that nice. We are important to someone :)

RANT OR RAVE

Ok, I know I've complained about this before, but seriously, there are some times where I am still surprised by the crazy size of food portions that places serve. It gets me every time! Last night my hubby had a coupon for two medium ice cream cones at Marble Slab Creamery so we decided date night was a good time to use them. This place has very tasty ice cream where you can add all kinds of toppings that they mix into your cone. I had chocolate with marshmellows. Yum. The only thing is, we usually would order the smallest size because a) this place is super expensive  b) we know that places like this go overboard on portions  c) we are trying to have things in moderation. But since we had the coupons, a medium cone it was. I should have known, but the actual size of the cone surprised me. It was massive. It felt like it weighed a ton. If I had a camera I would have taken a picture. But since I didn't I googled "medium marble slab ice cream cone" and there were actually a dozen pictures of these things on people's blogs including this one:

and this one:

The pictures don't even do it justice. No wonder North Americans are the fattest people on earth. It's just not necessary. It's hard to complete with this. On the other hand, I know that no one has a gun to their head making them eat like this . We can say no, but often times we don't. That is the real problem. Especially when people are eating like this all the time. That is what causes obesity in our country. But I know that is not a new revelation. Nonetheless I feel compelled to comment on it. 

NOTE TO SELF

Onward And Upward

TODAY'S MOTIVATION

Yesterday a few things happened that may not seem like such a big deal to the average person, but to someone who has struggled with sticking to a diet in the past, lets just say it caused some major self disappointment. First of all, I was on my way to kickboxing after five days of not having gone due to various committments. I was excited to get back into it. Half way there I realized that I forgot my shoes. I have done this in the past and when I tried to do the class without my shoes it was risky as I almost hurt myself. So I turned around and went home because I knew that by the time I went back the class would already be half over. 

Then later baby girl and I drove to pick up my doggy from the people who watched him while we were in Chicago. The drive is 45 mins which is the usual commute that I take to work. While I was in town I also stopped in the office to see some of the girls and to show off how much Maya is growing. While I was there, I got the scoop on some new developments happening at work and being there brought back some of the old stressful feelings that I faced before I went on parental leave.  By the time I had left the office, picked up my dog, and headed back home, it was 2:00pm and I was starving. I had a snack before I left the house in anticipation that I may not get lunch until later that day. I thought I had planned ahead, but clearly it did not stick with me long enough. So I decided to grab something on the way home. I went through a drive through and I could have easily gotten something healthy but for some reason I gave in and ordered a cheeseburger and fries. 

As tasty as it was, I of course immediately regretted straying from my healthy eating plan. Although I believe that it is ok to treat yourself once in a while this was different. It was different because of the context and circumstances. I was in an environment that has always been a source of stress for me and I reverted back to an unhealthy way of dealing with it by treating myself to junk food. I knew as I was ordering the food that it was a bad decision, but my self talk lost the battle as I convinced myself that I would treat myself this one time and then worry about getting  back on track tomorrow. That is the worst distorted way of thinking that one can get into when they are trying to change their lifestyle.  There's no day but today right?  Anyhow, when I got home I felt sick, ashamed, and tired. Maya and I ended up having a two hour nap on the recliner (she's been out of sorts since her immunization shots yesterday - I also think a tooth is coming in). Then we woke up and I went on with my day. Going to bed I couldn't fall asleep because I was feeling so bad that I had blatantly sabotaged something I have been really working hard at these past few months. I know I may be sounding dramatic, but to me this is a big deal. 

I could have just not told anyone that I made a slip. I could have just pretended that it didn't happen, but then how productive would that have been?  I guess yesterday's reason for motivation wasn't enough for me, I guess I still have to work on my relationship with myself. The only good thing that has come out of this is that it has forced me to really look at why I did what I did and to address underlying issues that I may still have to resolve in my life pertaining to my job.  Being away from work I have really been able to self reflect on what I want out of life. But we'll save that discussion for another day.

In the mean time I will continue to fight the good fight.  I think the fact that I have put my thoughts out there and are continually documenting my journey is helping me to change. It's a cathartic process. I hope that having others read my thoughts will help me to continue to be accountable to myself. So today it is upward and onward!

RANT OR RAVE

While I was visiting my SIL in chicago I caught a glimpse of the Miss Universe Contest when my hubby was flipping through channels. Watching it made me so angry. I know this issue has been talked about to death for decades, but why the H do these people continue to be the role models for our children?

Seriously, is my perception of a healthy weight distorted or are these girls way too thin! There is no way that they in any way represent the average female and yet they are the ones who are being glorified and treated like celebrities.  I went on youtube to see if there has ever been a time in the last fifty years where they had pageant contestants who were not this thin and I could not find anything. So why does this continue year after year? I have no problem with these women personally, they should love themselves just as they are and how they look, I just don't think that little girls who are exposed to such things are going to understand that this is not the norm. They are going to compare themselves to these women and feel bad about themselves because they are not the same.  We all want to be a bit skinnier and look good, it's our culture, but many of these girls cannot be a healthy weight. I guess the biggest beef that I have with these pageants is the fact that they are judging them a lot on their physique - I mean come on they have a swim suit segment and an evening gown segment which make up most of the competition.

I saw one video of miss universe from 1979 where they announced the person's height and weight as they introduced them. I'm pretty sure a few of these girls would be considered underweight on the body mass index.

 Seriously. What messages are we giving girls around the world. I am scared for Maya.  Would I feel different about it if I were like them? Am I being ridiculous by thinking this?

NOTE TO SELF

Leading By Example

TODAY'S MOTIVATION

I know I have been using a lot of shallow (for lack of a better word) reasons for motivation, mostly to do with how I want to look on the outside, but really it goes deeper than that.  I want to be a good example for my little itty bitty girl. I can't stand it when I see parents who basically say to their kids "Do as I say, not as I do".  I don't want to feed Maya healthy food and lecture her about being active when she is older, only for her to see that I am not taking care of myself. Besides, everyone knows that the most effective way to influence your children is through your actions. So today my motivation is to remember that I am now setting an example for Maya, and that it is not just about me anymore. I am convinced that most of the positive traits I possess today are a direct result of my Mother's good example growing up. 

I also feel that everyone develops some bad habits from their parents (it's only natural) which they bring into their adulthood and I want to break those habits so I don't pass them on to Maya.  My mantra today will be "do as I do", not "do as I say". 

RANT OR RAVE

I randomly came across this person's blog post the other day and it got me thinking a bit more about why I am doing all of this. She talked about how she feels that our society is too obsessed about dieting and losing weight. She feels that people should just accept themselves and start to love themselves on the inside. Though I agree on a basic level with what she says, I think it's more complicated than that.  Yes society has made women feel they have to look perfect and be stick thin for years. Yes obsession with dieting may inadvertently be causing our society to become more overweight. All of our distortions aside, the fact remains that we have an obesity problem in this country and people need to lose weight if they want to live longer.

I think "diet" really is a relative term. With all the processed foods, hormones, and increasing portion sizes, we have forgotten what eating normal looks like. We think that "dieting" is giving up junk food and eating more natural healthy food, when in fact, that is just eating normal.  We have grown up with so many bad eating habits that we don't even recognize that these habits are not supposed to be the norm. There are fad diets out there that promise you will lose ten pounds in two days, and they work, but that is not eating healthy - that is a short term solution to a much bigger problem.  I think we need to start defending food and aiming to get back to what really is a normal way of eating.  

The eating guidelines I am following allow me to get back to that, with some limited consumption in the meantime while I slowly lose weight (while enabling me to establish better habits for when I don't have to lose anymore).  I think that people who are successful in getting healthy are the people who change their lifestyle for the better, and challenge the distorted thoughts that often lead to bad choices.  In the end they do like themselves better and are not obsessed with being a size two.  So I agree we have to get away from "dieting" per se, but we do have to change our values and start taking care of ourselves! 

NOTE TO SELF

Skinny Jeans

TODAY'S MOTIVATION

Skinny jeans. Short skirts. Tank tops. Oh how I miss wearing such articles of clothing.  It's been so long. These things will keep me on track today. And hey, if I need an extra kick in the pants, I can always go to the mall and try on some clothes. That will keep me going for sure!

RANT OR RAVE

What is it with people being afraid to tell you that you are overweight? Ok this may sound extreme, I know lots of people would think it is rude if someone called them fat, but I don't mean in the way of making fun of someone or insulting them. I mean in the context of your doctor telling you that you are overweight or a friend acknowledging that you don't fit into their sweater. Of all the doctors visits I had with my family physician and OB, they never once commented on my weight, even though I know that I  am not a healthy weight. Do they just not bother because they think it won't make a difference?  Do they not want to confront their patients? I would think that they would want to talk to their patients about such things in order to take on a preventative approach wouldn't they? I had a perfectly normal pregnancy, no complications at all, but wouldn't my OB have wanted to let me know the risks of being overweight while pregnant?  This was me when I was approximately 36 weeks pregnant with Maya.

I think it's great that people have treated me with dignity and respect, but isn't this kind of like an elephant in the room? Sometimes I feel like they are just making it easier on people by not saying anything. Then again, I guess making someone feel bad about themselves wouldn't be helpful either. Maybe at least acknowledging the issue and giving some encouragement would help?  I guess I just feel that avoiding the subject completely is not the way to go. Just my thought. 

NOTE TO SELF

If You Can Do It, So Can I

TODAY'S MOTIVATION

You know those people who are really overweight and you have only ever known them as overweight, and then one day they lose like a hundred pounds? Well I have known a few people like this. People at work, people in my family, people I see all the time at the grocery store.  Whenever this happens, I can't help but think, "They lost more than I've got to lose, so what's my excuse?".  

Now, all of them have different stories about how they achieved thier weight loss goal. Some did it with the help of medical professionals, some followed weight watchers, some got a personal trainer. Although these people often still struggle with their weight issues, they seem much happier to be their skinny selves, and many of them have stuck with their goal weight for a long period of time. Some of these people are people that I never thought in a million years would be able to change, and yet they did it. So, that is my motivation for today: think of all the others before me who have actually set out to get healthy and did it. If they can do it, so can I!

RANT OR RAVE

Ok so this particular Rant is something that I have complained to others about numerous times...

Large portions while eating out. 

Have you seen the size of food portions that our restaurants and stores are starting to sell?  Fast food chains are the worst. You order a regular size drink and and it seems they give you a freakin' pitcher! It seems now a days if you want a medium size you have to order small, if you want a large size you have to order medium, and so on.  When I worked at one particular fast food place as a teenager, I know that the sizes they sold then were much smaller. And now lots of places have what they call a "snack size", which in reality is what a normal portion should actually be. 

Grocery stores are just as bad.....and don't even get me started on sit down restaurants. I am going to start the habit of cutting my meal in half before I even start and ask the waitress for a take out container. I tell you, it's re-di-cu-lous! I know that we are responsible for our choices, but seriously, it is so incredibly difficult to maintain healthy habits when you are always up against this "bigger is better" mentality of the world around us. 

NOTE TO SELF