Fat Girl In A Skinny Class

TODAY'S MOTIVATION

At my cardio kickboxing classes, there is a mirror that runs all along the main wall, which is natural for such a place.  A lot of the members sort of line up along the opposite wall, sitting on the benches, stretching, waiting for the prior class to end. We are usually all side by side, looking at ourselves in the mirror during the process. This is the time when I often get to see how I measure up to the others. Since a place like this is usually full of skinny fit people, I often feel like I stick out from the crowd. I find myself feeling even fatter than I am in comparison to everyone else. It's only natural right? When I do see a person or two who is the same as me, it's not as bad. On the other hand, although I view myself in this way, I always tell myself that it is better to be the fat girl at a workout class than it is to be the fat girl in a crowd somewhere else. At least here I am doing something about it. I know it won't always be like this. I can kick, punch, and jump like the rest of them, but some day soon I will be a skinny girl who can kick, punch, and jump! And I will kick, punch, and jump even higher and stronger than ever before.

RANT OR RAVE

Ok I know that zillions of parents have had the same woes since the dawn of time but I'm going to complain anyway. Sleep deprivation is like slow and painful torture. When you hear your little one crying for the fifth time during the night, after you finally have just reached that state where you have fallen asleep, it's absolutely MADDENING!  When it happens repeatedly you seriously begin to forget whether you are awake or dreaming. A lot of times you end up accidentally knocking the lamp onto the floor or tripping over the rug and you hear yourself cursing up a storm as you nurse or rock your sweet baby back to sleep. There is a book - a children's book for parents let's say, written about just this sort of thing. Any parent who has read it is surely nodding their heads and saying "Amen!" to the words in the book. My little itty bitty was sleeping through the night starting at Eight weeks old. The whole time she was just probably laughing on the inside because she knew that as soon as her Daddy and I started to get used to having solid chunks of sleeping hours she would switch it up and decide to get up at all hours of the night, you know, just to keep us on our toes. A few pivotal points in her plan were when she decided to get up at 3:30am the morning of her Aunt's wedding, a very important day to her Mommy, and not go back to sleep at all. Another was this past week where she felt compelled to scream bloody murder if she is not being held or rocked at a moment's notice in the night. On top of that, gas and an ear infection has left her especially clingy and whiney during the last few days, often resulting in a lack of quality naps.  Any day that Daddy would normally be able to help out, has been taken away from Mommy due to "overtime" and "paid duties". Yes, you may say, it's my fault, I rock her too much, I don't let her cry long enough, I shouldn't have given her rice cereal,  I do this, I don't do that. But oh my goodness I am trying my best and let me tell ya this lack of sleep is really affecting my work-outs and my overall sanity. The lack of sleep thing honestly never really bothered me much until these past three weeks. I usually took it in stride, knowing that it was all part of the job, however lately I just can't seem to shake the tortured feeling. But then each day comes, and the sun rises, and my cute adorable little girl smiles at me and all is forgiven, and we get on with our day. 

NOTE TO SELF